Never a clear beginning or end...

No matter where you are in life, it's never too late to learn and grow.

Self awareness can be a brutal tool. Like when you realise the way you come across has been received in the opposite way it was intended.
Instead of a bridge, you've built an arctic ocean.

I'm yet to meet a self aware person, that was taught to be self aware by self-aware parents.
They're out there, but they're unicorns.

And what is self awareness anyway...

Did you know that by the age of 7 your automatic emotional responses, pre-dispositions and behaviours are set?
Did you know, that conscious self awareness is one of the only ways to change that?

What does that mean?
It means (and don't hate me for saying it) even though you're a fully fledged legal adult that has a car and all that; you're still "technically" behaving like a child.

Many women will say that's very easy to spot childish behaviour in their significant others.
I point things out to my partner every day, he can't help it. And I love him so much sometimes I just want to bite his face off.
He'll say the same about me, cos 9 times out of 10, what I'm "reminding" him about is childish and irrelevant. Dumb.

We're all guilty of throwing our toys out.
But knowing you're doing it, is the difference between a psycho and an unaware human trying to do their best.

The Question


is a great question to ask about 'why' I wanted to set up this website.

Why is not a great question to ask if you want to:
— change your circumstances
— be confident, positive, geniunely happy (regardless of what's going on)
— have great friends and family that praise and love you
— know your contribution to others matter
— focus, dedication and accolades in your career or at school
— a strong fit healthy body
— a long bright future ahead of you.

The Key


is the BEST question to ask to improve everything in your life.

I can't claim this, but I have included on the resources page a link to another Tedx Talk by world reknown self awareness expert Dr Tasha Eurich whose done the research and this is the key.

Scarily she states that out of the hundreds of people she has interviewed, generally 95% of people think that they’re self-aware, but only 10-15% actually are.

A misleading (rabbit warren) question...

Why am I always sad and drained and flat and lazy and ugly and anxious...

An outstanding question...

What can I do to feel positive and geniunely happy?
What is holding me back from changing my circumstances?

Why takes you away from taking control and changing.

You say... 'I'm friggin late again cos of this traffic! Damn it'.

What about...'What made me late this morning?'
Answer: I farted around and now I'm stuck in traffic. Tomorrow I'll make sure I don't do that.

Self awareness, self acceptance and change.

I understand this seems way to simple. But it's a start.

And I'm not saying that after the self awareness, self acceptance and change; in this late-for-work scenario, you still don't go balistic at yourself.
'Nah, it is this traffic, maybe I'm about to lose my job, I need to pee. It looks like this traffics not going anywhere. Oh my God!'.

But what if, in this moment, you do stop yourself and go, 'what, what, what, what, what!'. Take a breathe and start again.

Over time, of being honest with yourself, asking the "what" questions things get easier.

For me, asking the what questions is way better than being caught up in the ranting negative self sabotaging mind chat that given an opportunity will tear you down.
... 'Why are you always late, why did you put that load of washing on, you should have done it the night before, why haven't you learnt from previous mistakes. Jesus useless. I'd fire you...'.
It's just hideous. You hate on yourself. Replaying all the stupid mistakes you've made, working up into an even more stressful state.

...'What could I do so I'm not late? What about doing lunch for today the night before and the bloody washing? What if I got up earlier? What if I got to work then checked my emails rather than doing them from home? The boss will be wrapped with me being early. What if I logged onto work now and emailed her to let her know what's happened and my solutions. I would feel so much better getting to work earlier. How much time would I...'

Now I'm sitting there feeling productive, optimistic. I'm spinning out ideas and I'm taking responsibility. I still need to go toilet, but I'm not stressing out making myself feel worse.

What not why

Here's another example, something we could teach our kids...

A question:

Why is Mum always yelling and stressed at me in the mornings?

An answer:

Cos I was mucking around? man it was only 5 seconds. I couldn't find my sports gear - how is that my fault?

A better question:

What could I do so that Mum's not yelling at me in the mornings?

An even better answer:

I could ask Dad for new batteries for my clock and I could get up on time. I'll make sure I'm ready to leave by 8am rather than relying on Mum to tell me when we have 5 minutes to go. That's when she's really spinning out. Especially if I'm not even dressed.

An outstanding answer that has good karma attached to it:

I could get up 5 minutes early put the jug on for Mum and put out her favourite mug for her morning coffee. She'd love that! OMG.


It's your life, your journey and maybe this is your beginning?

I've included a resources page for further information, some amazing tools and organisations.
This content only scratches the surface of this awesome subject.
So, this is Goldmind Diaries start, we have to begin somewhere...

If you have started your journey, love your learning and growth.
Especially in the tough moments, that's normally when you're close to some amazing break-through.

As long as you're not hurting others to get there, remind yourself, its our birthright to be happy.

Unapolegtically, without reservation, I wish you an awesome life.
Self awareness. It's worth the work :)

With love, Josey xx

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